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Writer's pictureGlennda Barker, M.Sc

Self-Sabotage as a Working Mum: How to Break the Cycle


Being a working mum comes with its unique set of challenges. Balancing the demands of a career and family can be overwhelming, often leading to feelings of guilt, stress, and self-doubt.


In trying to manage it all, many working mums unknowingly engage in self-sabotage—actions that prevent them from achieving success or happiness, even when they are fully capable.


One common form of self-sabotage is perfectionism.


The pressure to be the "perfect" mum and employee leads to setting impossibly high standards. Every small mistake becomes a source of guilt, and tasks are never "good enough." This all-or-nothing thinking can lead to procrastination or burnout, as you spend excessive time trying to get everything exactly right.


Over-commitment is another trap.


Working mums often feel the need to prove they can handle everything—career, parenting, housework, and more. By saying "yes" to too many responsibilities, you end up exhausted and resentful, with no time left for yourself. This cycle of overloading yourself can lead to frustration, impacting both work performance and personal well-being.


Another form of self-sabotage is negative self-talk.





Many working mums struggle with feelings of inadequacy, constantly doubting their ability to juggle it all. Thoughts like "I'm failing as a mum" or "I can't keep up at work" become ingrained, lowering confidence and making it harder to achieve personal or professional goals.


To break free from this cycle, it's essential to set realistic expectations, prioritize self-care, and practice self-compassion.


Seeking help—whether through delegating tasks, speaking to a mentor, or even therapy—can also make a world of difference. By recognizing and addressing self-sabotaging behaviours, working mums can create healthier, more fulfilling lives for themselves and their families.

 

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